I have always been a big believer in modesty and keeping an even keel (emotionally) whether you are experiencing great success or painful failure. Many people would agree that a modest person has an inner confidence that does not need to be flaunted; a sign of strong character.
At the same time, I have seen people who have had their desire to remain modest actually hurt their personal success. In certain cases, the modest person was so afraid of looking arrogant or egotistical that they suddenly became blind to their own talents and achievements. This kind of thinking can obviously have long term negative impacts on a person’s confidence.
As a coach, I spend a lot of time studying the lives of successful people from many different walks of life. There are a handful of characteristics that seem to be common among all of these people. As you would expect, self confidence is often the most obvious character strength that they possess.
I have had the opportunity to meet with a number of successful people to get a first hand look into the way they think and the way they carry themselves. Without fail, every single person I spoke with was very aware of their own talents and achievements and they knew they were the best at what they did. At the same time, they did not have any problem at all telling me about their credentials and doing so from a very proud perspective.
To an outside observer, that might come across as arrogant and labelled as a negative.
The definition of the word arrogant is – having or showing an exaggerated opinion of one’s own importance, merit, ability, etc.
Based strictly on the definition, the successful person who talks highly of their accomplishments could be labelled as arrogant but I want to point out an important distinction. These successful people I talked to did not walk around flaunting their accomplishments to the entire world, but when someone like me came along and asked them, they were more than happy to share.
This means that they kept thoughts of personal success at the forefront of their mind and used those thoughts to their advantage to build confidence and self esteem.
The overly modest person was so worried about coming across arrogant that they literally convinced themselves they were less capable than they actually were. A total hit to their self esteem.
If you are struggling with your own confidence and self worth, maybe it is time to err on the side of being arrogant. Build yourself up from the inside out so that you recognize your strengths, talents and achievements and begin sharing them with the world.
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